Dumbfounded World Leaders Call To Congratulate Putin On Prevailing Over Smug American Democracy

Russian President Vladimir Putin Was Reportedly Gracious To World Leaders When They Called To Congratulate Him

Bewildered and terrified leaders from across the world called Russian Emperor Vladimir Putin in the early hours of November 6, 2024 to congratulate him on his glorious victory over a nearly three century old American system of checks and balances. Putin was reportedly uncharacteristically calm and pleasant during the calls, leading many to wonder whether he was being gracious in victory or psychologically toying with soon to be prey.

After concluding the calls, Putin held a press conference during which he praised his newly appointed viceroy of America, Donald Trump, as “courageous”.

Russian Emperor Vladimir Putin Called His New Viceroy Of America, Donald Trump, “Courageous”

Putin also announced that in appreciation for Elon Musk’s contribution to his disinformation campaign, he would release Musk from the obligation to pay off the amount still owed on the loan that he had extended to enable Musk to X-rate Twitter.

A Jubilant Donald Trump Kissing Elon Musk Following His Appointment As Putin’s Viceroy Of America

Putin has directed Trump to deliver the victory speech on his behalf. Putin will instead be busy testing the capacity of Republican politicians to sexually gratify him in the most “appallingly disgusting ways” in order to determine their suitability to join Trump’s cabinet.