“Trump’s Presidency Is The Penance The Nation Must Endure Before Deserving Me Again” - Joe Biden

US President Joe Biden Drove Around Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi’s Mansion In His Corvette On Saturday, November 16, 2024

Despite the chaos that has engulfed his party and the nation following former President Donald Trump’s election for a second term in office, President Joe Biden found some time on Saturday to visit Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi’s residence in San Francisco. Pelosi had been instrumental in forcing Biden to quit the Presidential race by claiming that his departure was necessary prevent a Trump victory.

President Joe Biden Has Resented Nancy Pelosi Since She Led The Calls For Him To Step Down From Running For Second Term As President

Over three blocks around Pelosi’s residence were completely cleared by the US Secret Service this morning to allow Biden to drive around the property in his corvette, wearing his signature Ray Ban aviators, while blasting “How You Like Me Now” by the Heavy on the car's stereo. Unfortunately, Pelosi was in Washington DC at the time, working hard to influence party and public opinion to deflect all blame for Trump's and the GOP's recent victories to Biden.

Nancy Pelosi Lays The Blame For The Democrats’ Defeat In The Elections On Joe Biden

However, the wasted trip to San Francisco to gloat in Pelosi’s face didn’t seem to bother Biden appreciably. Speaking with the local press at the nearest ice cream parlour to the Pelosi residence, Biden recalled the tumultuous days leading up to the announcement that he was stepping down as the Presidential nominee for the Democratic Party on July 21, 2024.

“The whole drama started when I had a bad day at the debate with Trump on June 27, 2024”, Biden mused while licking his pistachio gelato.

“I know my performance was inexcusable but I was up against a compulsively dishonest fascist, who also happens to be a misogynist and a convicted felon! I mean, give me a break, man!”

Highlights From Joe Biden’s Presidential Debate With Donald Trump On June 27, 2024

“What hurt me the most was that the son of a bitch Trump could literally shit himself at a rally and his people would start spinning it as the ultimate sign of physical vigour and pay millions at an auction for his soiled diaper. And all he’s done in his life is exploit people.”

“Meanwhile, I, the most successful of all Presidents whose name I can remember, am being made to feel as welcome at the Democratic Party as a leper with AIDS in the nineties or a Leonardo Di Caprio girlfriend who is dangerously close to turning 25.”

“It seemed like they had all been waiting for an opportunity for me to fail - people I had considered friends and family, kindred spirits.”

“I kept telling them that I was fine - that I wouldn’t quit - that I was the only one who could beat Trump - but they just wouldn’t give up.”

Joe Biden Stating That His Debate Performance Was Not Representative Of His Capacity For The Job In An Interview With George Stephanopoulos On July 5 2024

Joe Biden Stating That He Is Uniquely Capable Of Defeating Trump In An Interview With George Stephanopoulos On July 5 2024

“I had decided to ignore the naysayers completely and let my victory on November 5, 2024 do the talking but then Pelosi, who I had always considered a close friend and ally, stabbed me in the back by mobilising the major party donors against me. Everyone went along with her.”

How The Anti-Biden Democrat Surge Unfolded Over 25 Days

“I’ve seen a lot of hate in America during my time in politics. But it’s difficult to conceptualise or compare the hurt you experience upon learning that millions of Americans wish you dead or incapacitated so you may no longer obstruct your Vice President from taking over. And then, when you bluff about stepping down, fully expecting the nation to be inconsolably despondent and beg you to return, they have a three month non-stop celebration for finally getting rid of you.”

Joe Biden Blames Nancy Pelosi For Delaying His Second Term As President

“It was exactly like Trump said - a “coup”, a “vicious, violent overthrow of the President of the United States”. That's why he appealed to me and other decent, salt of the earth Democrats this election cycle.”

Trump Discussing Kamala Harris’ Coup Against Joe Biden

“And all the dancing and talk of joy at the Democratic rallies, with the morons going - “We can't stop partying because the greatest President to ever serve in the decade commencing 2020 will no longer sweat blood for us so we can have the strongest economy in the world, for which we will somehow manage to hate him” - it made me sick every single day.”

Nancy Pelosi Caused Even Atheist Bill Maher To Believe In God For Making Biden Drop Out

“It was becoming increasingly clear to me that god-fearing folks would not condone the party establishment’s treason and the Democratic ticket would suffer a crushing defeat. However, the oppression of the four years that follow would be the country’s penance for turning their backs on the most accomplished President to have hailed from my neighbourhood in Scranton, Pennsylvania.”

“Nevertheless, as my father taught me at a young age, I always look at the bright side of life. After the nation has finished repenting for its atrocities toward me over the next four years, I will get to be the political messiah that rescued the nation from a fascist government on the brink of establishing the roots of tyranny in America, twice.”

Evidence Of Trump’s Authoritarian Inclinations

“As they suffer through the indignity and the pain of the next four years under a Trump administration, they will have no choice but to worship the only candidate who has been successful in beating Trump”, Biden told the reporters assembled at the ice cream parlour.