“Read The Fine Print” - Donald Trump Tells American Women

Donald Trump Delivering His Victory Speech On November 5, 2024

Perplexed by the drastic surge in misogynistic and abusive conduct toward them following their self-proclaimed “protector”, Donald Trump’s success in the US Presidential Election, a committee of women’s delegates from across the country visited the President-elect today and urged him to comply with his end of the “Protection Pact”.

Donald Trump’s Election Led To Many Men In The US And Abroad Proclaim Their Proprietary Interest Over Women

The “Protection Pact” is the agreement that Trump had entered with American women pursuant to which they facilitated enough votes to win him a second Presidential term, thus saving him from imprisonment following his conviction in relation to 34 offences. In exchange for the votes, Trump had promised the American women a safer and happier life in a more prosperous America.

To learn about the precise terms of the “Protection Pact” please read: The Protector Has Triumphed!

During the meeting, Trump reportedly advised them that the protection guaranteed under the terms of the “Protection Pact” was specific to harassment and abuse from migrants (*wealthy migrants excepted).

The delegates were also informed that the misogynistic and abusive conduct of which they complained was a protected entitlement of the abusers under the time-honoured ritual of “relishing the spoils of war”.

Nonetheless, Trump assured the delegates that he was committed to finding solutions to protect women from abuse of all sorts and announced the imminent launch of his new venture “Trump Handguns”, which will produce a line of fashionable and convenient to carry “self-defence gadgets” especially targeted at women.

Donald Trump Assured The Women’s Delegates That The Soon To Be Released “Trump Handguns” Would Solve The Issue Of Women’s Security

The delegates are reported to have left the Trump residence feeling betrayed and used, an experience for which they must develop considerable tolerance to survive the Trump Presidency.