Iran Announces New Asylum Visa For American Women

Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ali Khamenei, At A Press Conference In Tehran

In light of the significant surge in misogynistic and abusive conduct toward women following Trump’s election for a second Presidential term, Ali Khamenei, announced during a press conference held today in Tehran that Iran will offer asylum to any American woman trying to escape “the indignity of living under a Trump Presidency”.

For our reporting on the rise in misogynistic and abusive conduct toward women in wake of Trump’s victory in the recent US Presidential Election, please read: The Protector Has Triumphed!

In response to criticisms concerning Iran’s abysmal treatment of women, Khamenei noted that it was fundamentally misguided to create a moral equivalence between the two nations’ attitudes toward women.

“Iran’s approach toward women’s rights and freedoms is dictated by its strict observance to the doctrine contrived by an all-powerful, self-proclaimed messiah who married multiple times, was an avant-garde admirer of the elegance of youth despite associated taboos, who declared himself their “protector”, stipulated appropriate gender roles, imposed sensible restrictions on women’s bodily autonomy and whose followers appreciate that all desirable women must get hitched early in life and celebrate their role as givers of life. In stark contrast, the currently prevalent US philosophy toward women is simply a reflection of a narcissistic chauvinist’s treatment of women”, Khamenei clarified.

Khamenei further noted that in addition to escaping the abhorrent mistreatment and denigration that a second Trump Presidency promises to unleash, asylum in Iran also promises freedom from the constant objectification of the female body and the unrelenting pressure to maintain one’s figure that is glamourised in the American culture.

Iran has also promised an expedited path to citizenship to all American women with expertise in nuclear physics or experience in the construction or operation of nuclear weapons research and development facilities.